Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
