don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize