Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
God, I missed his penis.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
