I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
