I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
