what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that's an acceptable place to lick
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
