check it out our google latitudes are spooning
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm too high and old for this...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
