Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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