chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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