I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Floor bacon is actually really good
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
