well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
