I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She's the barista slut.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My feet surprised me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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