You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
