He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
