My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
