So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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