put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
