She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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