no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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