remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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