i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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