She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
