The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So. Much. Porn.
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