so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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