She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize