dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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