guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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