so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
