you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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