So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
