yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
