Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As shirtless as possible
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
