The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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