You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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