I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
