Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
