Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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