I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
