you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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