i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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