actually, I'm a sock model
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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