I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize