Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
