I just saw a hot homeless man
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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