naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
