doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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