i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
