Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
tequila makes me forget i have legs
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
