Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
