somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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