end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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