then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
