there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dignity is for republicans.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
