What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize