I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
