he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
