There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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