Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
