WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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