You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
