So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
