somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
