Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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