did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
