She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The feeling are messing with the penis
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
