I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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