U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize