the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
