You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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