If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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