New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
