Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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