i jhust puked up my retainher.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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