There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
