Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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