Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
