There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
