The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
